Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
I can't believe I'm actually attempting to do this one letter thing a day for a whole year. What do you think? I remember when I used to write letters to you in my rabbit journal and leave it outside my room or in your room (not sure how you actually got it). I guess this is just a really late letter in response to that and I guess life in general. It's been pretty good since then. I mean it has its ups and downs like everyone's, but I have to say I'm pretty blessed to have the family I do and was blessed to be raised by such God loving parents. Sure things were rough at times, but we managed to slug through our disagreements and even though we still don't see eye-to-eye on everything today we've managed to work it out. That's saying a lot compared to the stories I hear from other people involving their mothers.
I feel like this letter could go on for days. I could recall all the fun times I've had with you in the past and thank you for them. Or I could recall the times we didn't get along and explain how I grew through them. I don't think it's suitable to do so on here though. I just don't have the amount of space needed for it. (And by not enough space I mean for the good things ;))
So I guess what I really want to say is I miss you. This has been the hardest semester I've had yet I think. But you never seem to fail me when I need you there the most. I read a fact today that talking to your mother is as comforting as a hug. Since I can't get a hug from you (at least until Sunday cause I'm coming home!) I guess you'll just have to put up with me calling you every day. Well not every day. But most days.
You know. It's funny. When I talk to the girls at youth, or write blogs to the general public I seem to express how much they are loved. I don't know if you've read any of these blogs, but I really hope you know how much you are loved. I know this is going to get sappy, but maybe that's what this project is supposed to be about. Maybe I'm supposed to tell people what I really think they need to hear. Maybe I need to give advice. I have no clue.
But what I want to tell you now is how much I love you and appreciate everything you've done for me. Not only did you put up with me as a kid (and I'm sure some days were a lot harder than others), you put up with me as a teenager. An angry and depressed teenager at that. One who didn't show any affection to you whatsoever. One who didn't give you the appreciation I should have been giving you. One who hardly said thank you for the things that you needed to be thanked for.
So I guess I want to apologize to you. Through some of the hardest years of my life I am sorry I put that burden on you. I know how heavy I become when I'm dealing with depression and I can't imagine the many years I put you through it. The time when you wanted to see your kids happy and enjoying life, I did the opposite. And I really can't express how sorry I am for that.
I also want you to know how amazing you are. Not only did you push through those years and become one of my best friends...you've continued to push through these stressful university years when I come to you in a ball of stress and unload my entire life onto you. You are the strongest person I know and I look up to that. I secretly hope that all my friends can meet you, even if I say you're weird. I secretly hope that you'll just show up one day on my doorstep and surprise me, or that I can surprise you by showing up on your doorstep.
I realize this is slightly scattered and not the best letter I've written. I think I should stop before it gets too mushy. I'll see you shortly and trust me, you're going to have to be strong when I see you in the airport because I might collapse in a mess when I see you and dad.
Love you with all my heart.
Your daughter,
Yvette